My Boyfriend Was Beaten with a Shovel and I Was Attacked by Ants

Lets start with the ants. Those little rascals. My house has been ant crazy these days. Hortencia, my roommate says it means it is going to rain. And to give some credit to her divination, it has been raining. But then again, it is the rainy season so it basically rains at least a drizzle or two every day.

Regardless, there is a pretty constant ant occupation of my house. But about once or twice a month it turns to all out war. I have decided that they must be gathering to lay eggs, because I encounter thousands upon thousands of ants, each carrying little white things which I can only assume are larvae, as they swarm under my water barrel, in my basket, or, in this most unfortunate case, under my bed.

Well, I don't in fact have a bed. Rather, I sleep on a foam mattress on top of a reed mat on the floor. I am usually pretty protected from buggers such as mosquitoes, cockroaches, spiders, etc, because I basically swathe my “bed” in mosquito netting, carefully tucking it in under my reed mat. However, these ants are teeny tiny and I am pretty sure can pass right on through the net. That, and it wasn't superbly tucked on the wall side last night... and that is how they got me.
The swarm was laying their larvae under my mat, and then swarming over me and biting my neck as I slept. I felt little things crawling on me, but assumed it was just one of many lariam (my anti-malarial med) hallucinations/dreams. Only once I woke up at 6am did I realize that yes, in fact, everything from my pillow to my toes was crawling in mini ants. Jerks. They didn't even touch Iraque.

However, I shouldn't complain, because the night before, Iraque was beaten with a shovel. He wins.

“Honey, do I have a mark on my back? Is it swollen?”
“Yeah, what happened?”
“I was just beaten with a shovel.”
“WHAT?!”

Emidio, another teacher at our school, and Iraque's neighbor in his little reed duplex, had ordered one of his students that was causing trouble to dig a new trash hole up by Emidio's house because, naturally, hard labor is used to punish most offenses at our school (and I think most others schools too). The student, angry at having toiled in the hot sun for hours digging sand, had returned that night with two friends and was proceeding to re-shovel sand back into the hole. Well Iraque happened to pass the group mid-action, and managed to see through the blackness that something was amiss.

Realizing what was happening, Iraque took off after the little hooligans. He managed to catch one, tackling him on the ground. Then, having no intention to hurt the boy, Iraque was quite surprised when the little brat called his friends back, and one returned, shovel in hand, and beat him across the back. Cringing with the blow, Iraque quickly released the seized suspect, allowing them both to swiftly scamper away.

“This kid will fail this year. And I might even go to the police.”
“Well, maybe, but I am just glad he didn't split your skull considering it was pitch black dark outside. Lucky.”