The Pee Bucket

Lets talk about rain storms and small bladders. You have probably never really thought that there was a connection there. I am here to tell you, there is.

Not just rains storms really. Lets also talk about night time, no outside lights, and the need to wee.

What do they all have in common? They have driven me, at night, to pee in a bucket inside my house.

It isn't actually as strange as it might sound. In fact my roommate takes a bacia into her bedroom every night so as to avoid the midnight trek to the squat pot. However, I have long warded off succumbing to the pee bucket. For one, it is kind of gross to pee in a bucket and then proceed to take a bath using that same receptacle. And after all, I am a full grown adult with good bladder function control. I shouldn't be pissing in a bacia in my kitchen at 3am.

And even now, on nights where the moon is full, it isn't raining, and Iraque is sleeping over and can thus oversee that I don't get stolen by random men on my way to the potty (or at least could potentially hear me if I screamed), I use my outdoor latrine to relieve my seemingly very small bladder. But all of these factors probably occur together about once a month.

I never realized what a difference the moon makes. When there is a full moon, everything glows with a sort of dark luminescent white light. Honestly, its like the palm trees are swaying in magic dust. However, the day after a full moon, there is nothing but thick, enveloping, pitch black, scariness. That just doesn't do when it comes to midnight calls of nature.

The solution? Well I tried waking up Iraque every time I felt my bladder swell and making him walk me to the toity. But I just felt like a burden doing that. So, I have shamefully resorted to weeing in a bacia in my kitchen, and just making sure to thoroughly cleanse the bucket with soap and water before using it to bathe. But I think I need to purchase a pee exclusive bucket, because I still somewhat irrationally feel like I am bathing in my own tepid urine.

Last night I experienced a rain storm, pitch black darkness, small bladder incident. Unfortunately Iraque woke up a few minutes after me, thanks to his own urges and walked in on me squatting over my bucket. I looked up like a deer in the headlights, or like a little girl caught eating poo out of the litter box (not that I ever did that, but I certainly loved to pee outside. I honestly think that as I child, I peed more in my back yard then in a toilet.), embarrassed and a little ashamed to be spotted in the compromising position, with my white apple bottom bum exposed as I hovered over a bacia with the sound of my stream loudly ricocheting off the plastic.

He didn't even look twice. Just kept walking right on out to pee in a bush. Now that's love.