World Cup Mania

13:00-22:00 BYOC (bring your own chair).

For hours every day, all my school's male teachers are piled in front of the one and only television in the “neighborhood” wide-eyed and apparently mesmerized. Those that don’t own chairs, borrow mine because TV land is in my neighbor's house, sit on crates of beer/soda, sit on speakers, or sit on reed mats on the floor. I’m pretty sure that if it came down to it, they would happily sit outside in the dirt if it meant they could watch the game. During breaks, they are debating their favorite players (they know all their names!) and teams.

Imagine 24 year old men discussing March Madness Basketball, but with less beer, a smaller TV, and a with Mozambican accent. That’s world cup in Mozambique.

Though I enjoy (sort of) watching soccer, I can’t handle the testosterone permeated room. And honestly, who has time for 3 games a day?

But the frenzy is on, and has been since game 1. But hey, at least it’s a good lesson in geography for Mozambicans. I am honestly amazed when people start debating Uruguay and Holland. Then again, I’m not sure many could actually point out either country on a map… though most Americans probably couldn’t either.

Ok, so who do the Mozambicans support? (since the Mozambique Mambas might be the worst team in the world). Well, this is what I can make of the constant world cup chats that I hear going on around me.

Mozambique was sad to see South Africa go so quickly. Not that Mozambique really loves South Africa, but South Africa is like Mozambique’s older, post pubescent sister. Though Moz is jealous of her older sister’s more developed body, she also wants to profit off her hips and boobs and maybe even go to work in her mines…

Portugal , as a fellow Portuguese speaking country, was briefly considered, but quickly dropped… probably because a) they weren’t amazing, and b) I sometimes sense a slight resentment of the colonizing power.

Brazil. Oh brazil. One might say that Brazil is Mozambique’s brother from another mother. “Honey, we lost,” cried Iraque. “Since when are you from Brazil?” I barked back cold heartedly.

And then there was Ghana. If South Africa is Mozambique’s older, post-pubescent sister, Portugal let’s say is Mozambique’s bossy white step-father, and Brazil is Mozambique’s brother from another mother, then Ghana is … well this family tree is getting too complicated.

But Ghana really was the hope for Africa. During the USA v. Ghana game, one of my students turned to me and said, “It’s us against you, and we are winning.” And so they were.

Speaking of Africans, it would appear that many a white South African is jumping ship. I would too. The noise. The tourists. The banditry. No thank you. As a result, I can just sit on my porch on any given day, look out over the national highway, and see armored SUV after armored SUV, massive boat after massive boat, ZA sticker after ZA sticker (I think ZA are the initials for South Africa in Afrikaans), as the whiteys pour into their neighbor-land to fish and flash their big fat bellies and post-pubescent boobies on her beaches.

Just like a waving flag. And then it goes back… Oh oh ooh oh oooooh.