My House is Harder to Break Into Than I Thought…

21 Jan 2009

I went for a run yesterday, and proceeded to lose my house keys. I began to retrace my steps, but quickly realized that there was far too great a distance to cover, and so much sand and foliage that there was no way I was going to find them… especially not before dark, seeing as it was about 7pm.

Well I began trying to break into my house, but to no avail. Luckily, a group of male teachers who I had just met for the first time that day, walked past.

“Professora Katarina. Tudo bem?”
“Sim, tudo… Só que perdi meus chaves quando estava a correr e agora no posso entrar minha casa”
“Perdeu chaves! É pa!”

I just love meeting new people, and then proceeding to make a total ass of myself. Well, actually they didn't laugh in my face just then. In fact, they were quite concerned seeing as it was getting dark and all. I am just lucky this didn't happen last week, when not a single other person was here.

It was at this point that I realized that men around the world are actually quite similar in many ways. It was sort of like one of those light bulb jokes. You know, “How many Mozambican men does it take to get Caitlin’s door open?” They proceeded to group together, discuss the best ways of going about breaking into the house, ignore all of my suggestions, discuss who had the best tools, procure said tools, and then go about the actual work of finding a way inside. Now, when I say “tools” I should clarify. Rather than every man proudly producing a big box of tools complete with 37 wrenches to solve your wrench-able problems of all sizes, everyone here has one fabulous, multi-purpose, machete.

My suggestion was to get a screwdriver and simply remove the lock on the door. It seemed easy enough to me. Well I am not sure if they totally ignored it because that is what groups of men like to do, or because no one in fact had a screwdriver and their machetes weren’t quite capable of doing the job. Regardless, I wasn't going to argue because they were nice enough to help me and, well, they were a group of men holding machetes. A little intimidating. Instead, they eventually used a particularly long and thin machete to work open a window. They then strategized and compared tools again, before using some wire and a broom to open the door from the inside.

This morning I did face a few teasing remarks at work. To be expected I suppose. But at least I can now rest easier at night knowing that my little house is pretty darn difficult to break into.